Dylannesis
by click-of-doom
Summary: The Adventures Of Dylannesis And His Loyal Lackey, Mattiemon
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE TO DYLANNESIS  
  
All right, so here's how the story was originally created. In my 9th grade tech class, we often had very little to do but sit around and work on something, so me (click_of_doom), my friend Stewie, and my brother ShadowMaster138, we decided to make a story. We wrote the story like so: I would write one paragraph, then Stewie would, then ShadowMaster138 would, ect ect. Anyways, this story does not have a lot of description, it doesn't have a lot of long, detailed parts about anything, but we had a lot of fun writing it. So please don't blame us on trivial things like that. Also, when the character's speak with instead of " ", then that means they're speaking telepathically. WARNING: There is some swearing and mature themes; reader's discretion is advised. Aswell, I'd like to mention that the, er, division of chapters may seem abit one sided (considering chapter 1 is 170 words and chapter 3 is 1900) and if you can tell me the correct places for division, it would be greatly appreciated.  
  
PS: Unfortunatley, there is no way to distinguish who wrote which part of the story on this stupid document so I can't really give them credit. Sorry :S.  
  
ENJOY THE SHOW! 


	2. Dylannesis: Chapter 1

DYLANNESIS  
  
Written by:  
  
click_of_doom  
  
Stewie  
  
ShadowMaster138  
  
Edited and typed by:  
  
click_of_doom  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
Once upon a time there lived a blacksmith-sorcerer named Dylannesis and one day he decided to make a metal version of the pyramids. But, before he could begin this large task, he need workers. He looked everywhere he could for labourers and peasants that he could hire, but to his great dismay, they had all already swore allegiance to Dylannesis' sworn enemy and rival, Alexander The Not-So-Great (But Good Enough). So then thought of the most dastardly plan to get the workers to convert to his side by the only way he knew how... dark magic! Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... *cough*. And so he summoned his childhood friend/sorcerer/loyal lackey, Mattiemon.  
  
"Mattiemon," he commanded, "bring me my ingredients for the mind control potion or ill lop off your ears... again."   
  
Silence followed. "Didn't you hear me?" Dylannesis cried. "What? I can't hear you! You lobbed off my ears!"   
  
"Oh yeah..." said Dylannesis. "Well I'll write down the ingredients for you."   
  
"WHAT?" cried Mattiemon.   
  
"Oh never mind!" said Dylannesis, "Bloody deaf bastard..."  
  
He walked off and fetched his quill and parchment, then wrote down the ingredients and handed them to Mattiemon.  
  
"Go get these now!" he yelled.  
  
"What?! Are you crazy?" implored Mattiemon, "those ingredients would require great feats of strength and wit to obtain them. If you remember, I cricked my back last fall and it's been painful every since..."  
  
"BE QUIET! AND GO GET THOSE INGREDIENTS!"  
  
"My back suddenly feels better..." Mattiemon said quietly.  
  
And so, Mattiemon set off to gather his master's ingredients. Dylannesis then began concocting his devilish plan to thwart Alexander The Not-So-Great (assuming he had a plan that needed to be thwarted). 


	3. Dylannesis: Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Dylannesis decided that he would seek out the service of his fearsome allies, the Gorgonaths. Gorgonaths were part wolf, part pigeon who had been magically fabricated by Mattiemon's powers. So he began to travel to their land while Mattiemon continued to search for the ingredients.  
  
Once Dylannesis reached the land of the Gorgonaths, he spoke to their divine leader, Phillis.  
  
"Gruesome Phillis! How horrible to see you!" exclaimed Dylannesis.  
  
Eh? said Phillis, you mouth I moving but I can't hear any words. My species is telepathic, remember?  
  
"FIRST IT'S MATTIEMON, NOW PHILLIS! WHY CAN'T ANYONE EVER HEAR ME?"  
  
What?  
  
"Argh!" Alright here's the deal, said/thought Dylannesis, I need and your mighty Gorgonath warriors to destroy Alexander The Not-SO-Great (But Good Enough) and his forces.  
  
Well I'm not sure... What will I get in return? thought Phillis.  
  
Well... umm... I will... umm... You will get your lives!  
  
Phillis just stood there, looking at Dylannesis in silence. He then burst out laughing, his followers joining along with them. It then died down and he spoke once more.  
  
You? Kill us? Ha! You and what army?  
  
Please remember, Dylannesis said slyly, that it is my sorcerer, Mattiemon, who is responsible for creating you, and all I'd have to do is tell him to turn you back into wolves and pigeons! 


	4. Dylannesis: Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3  
  
The Gorgonaths had a small, huddled meeting, deciding weather or not they will join him. They then broke meeting and Phillis approached Dylannesis.  
  
Well? asked Dylannesis, Have you reached a decision?  
  
WE HAVE! exclaimed Phillis. And we have decided that we will accompany you on you quest to destroy Alexander The Not-So-Great (But Good Enough) for fear of being turned back into wolves and pigeons.  
  
His second-in-command, Munch, jabbed him in the side.  
  
Oh yeah and because of our, er, dying loyalty to your cause.  
  
Excellent! cried Dylannesis. Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... *cough* ... laughing telepathically sounds really weird doesn't it?  
  
Yeah, no kidding eh Phillis responded.  
  
Anyways, let's continue our journey to kill Alexander. said Dylannesis.  
  
And so, Dylannesis and the Gorgonaths set off on their journey. Meanwhile, Mattiemon was just about finished collecting his master's ingredients. He was muttering silently to himself...  
  
"Lousy no good Dylannesis, makin' me look bad. Doing his dirty work when he could eas-"  
  
He then fell down into a large, wet, muddy hole since he wasn't paying attention while muttering to himself. He cursed continuously, struggling to climb up the hole wall. His hands slipped every time and, eventually, he gave up and sat down, hoping his master would find him. He then remembered that he still had his wand in his position and used the Fiery Incantation to send sparks and colourful lights up into the sky.  
  
Ooo, look! yelled Phillis, pointing off into the distance, Fireworks!  
  
Cool, let's watch! suggested Dylannesis.  
  
Yeah! exclaimed the Gorgonaths, Oooooh... Aaahhh!  
  
Mattiemon heard their cheering and yelled in his mind, That's not fireworks you stupid hobbits! Er... people. It's a distress signal! Master, help me!  
  
And then ... It started to rain. The hole began to fill with water, and Mattiemon was ... not going to drown considering he could swim. The hole then became so full of water that he swam to the surface, where Dylannesis was waiting with the Gorgonaths.  
  
"Where have you been Mattiemon?" implored Dylannesis. "What took you so long? And what happened to those ingredients I sent you for?"  
  
"Oh, well, uh ..." stammered Mattiemon. All eyes were on him. "They appear to have fallen out of my travel pack ... I'll just go dive in and get them, shall I?"  
  
As Mattiemon dove into the water-filled hole, the rest of the company waited impatiently. Mattiemon rose to the surface with a foolish and sheepish grin.   
  
"Well, uh, I was able to salvage most of the ingredients but some were destroyed by the water..." said Mattiemon, quietly.  
  
"WHAT?!" screamed Dylannesis, causing the party to wince, "You fool!" He calmed down after a few juice boxes and a nap. "Well I suppose that we might as well fetch replacement ones."  
  
"Thank you for being so forgiving, master" whined Mattiemon.  
  
"Oh, and Mattiemon, when we get home, fifty lashes are coming you way."  
  
"Ah crap..." muttered the sorcerer.  
  
The troop then walked back to Dylannesis' lair, gathering the missing ingredients along the way. Though when they arrived at the lair, it had disappeared! They then looked just to the right and found it was, in fact, there. The party entered the lair, the Gorgonaths beginning to play some foosball and air hockey while Dylannesis and Mattiemon began making the potion to take over the slaves of his arch nemesis.  
  
"Mattiemon!" hollered Dylannesis. "Approach the master cauldron." Mattiemon edged forward nervously. "I will call out the ingredients and the amount needed and you shall add them to the potion."  
  
"Yes master..." sighed Mattiemon.  
  
"Eagles talon, powdered, 5grams."  
  
"Sure thing boss," said Mattiemon as he added it to the potion.  
  
"Monkey's toenail, 5grams. Mancore's eyelash, 10 lashes. Heffalump's tongue, smashed and mashed, 7.5 grams."  
  
As he reeled off the ingredients, Mattiemon kept adding and adding. He amount of the potion gradually increased, but by the time Dylannesis had finished reading, the potion was not a puke green colour as it was supposed to be. Rather, it was peacock blue.  
  
"What's wrong with it, Mattiemon?" asked Dylannesis.  
  
"I'm not sure," said Mattiemon as he pondered over their predicament while pacing back and forth. This lasted for around 3 hours, until finally... "Of course!" he exclaimed. "I forgot to obtain the last ingredient ... the blood sample of the person the slave's have sworn allegiance to."  
  
"Dammit Mattiemon! Why do you always forget to tell me these things?" question Dylannesis in a menacing tone.  
  
"Force of habit," replied Mattiemon.  
  
Dylannesis growled and walked over to the Gorgonaths, who were busy playing air hockey and throwing stones at the walls out of sheer boredom.  
  
Phillis, I need a favour. asked Dylannesis.  
  
What is it, my lord? responded Phillis.  
  
I need blood. said the mighty blacksmith, rolling his eyes at Phillis, who had just drawn his knife and lifted it to his arm, Not your blood you fool!  
  
Phillis breathed a long sigh of relief, seething his knife in the holster he kept on his back, Well who's blood are you after?  
  
The blood of my sworn enemy, Alexander Kalb The Not-So-Great (But Good Enough) must pay with his plasma if I am to succeed with my objective.  
  
Spooky, commented Mulch, who was sitting on one of Dylannesis' many bean-bag chairs.  
  
Oh shut up, Mulch commanded Phillis. Now, we must launch an expedition to Alexander The Not-So-Great (But Good Enough)'s realm, Jamkubia, to retrieve a blood sample.  
  
But then they all realised... All they had for equipment was 3 knives, a broken sword and a bottle of whiskey. They needed weapons, and armour as well if they were to infiltrate the land of Jamkubia.   
  
So Dylannesis set off to the local blacksmith to purchase the equipment, but then realised he WAS the local blacksmith.   
  
So he returned to his workshop to retrieve 7 sets of his finest equipment, which all had their own special abilities. He gave Phillis a sword that could cut through iron and armour that repelled fire. Mattiemon was granted a large, broad shield which summoned the forces of water and could direct it in the form of floods and tsunamis. It also had repelling powers against cold whether.  
  
"HOW IS THAT HELPFUL?" lamented Mattiemon, "JAMKUBIA IS LOCATED ON AN ACTIVE VOLCANO!"  
  
"It's the best I could do on such short notice," explained Dylannesis, "so shut yer trap!"  
  
Mulch, Phillis' second-in-command, was given a magic cloak which enabled him to reach incredible speeds and pass through solid object without harm.  
  
"This is awesome!," he yelled as he passed continuously through Mattiemon.  
  
"Stop it!" Mattiemon cried.  
  
Finally, Dylannesis crafted for himself a chest plate that could summon evil forces, and a sword crafted from steel empowered with the powers of darkness.  
  
The other three Gorgonaths (who will remain nameless) were given swords that were forged in the same fashion, making the swords brothers. One sword had the powers of Light, the next the powers of air, and finally the third had the powers of earth.  
  
And as a final precaution, they were all given armour to protect the different body parts of the body that weren't being protected already.   
  
"Well, now that we're all suited up," stated Dylannesis, "we can finally raid the land of Jamkubia!" A great cheer rose from the ranks as the team of 7 rushed out the door. They then stopped, mystified, looking at each other. They didn't know where Jamkubia was! They all sighed, disheartened, and walked back inside, thinking this perilous journey would never end.  
  
"But wait!" exclaimed Dylannesis, many hours after they had returned from their five second journey, "there may be hope for us yet!"  
  
"What do you mean?" the company cried.  
  
"I have a long lost brother named Aidafo who is the land's most excellent cartographer! He would certainly be in the possession of a map of Jamkubia! If we can make it successfully to his lair, in the neighbouring land of Picdromo, we can have him give us (or make us) a map!"  
  
"Great!," yelled Phillis, "where does he live?"  
  
"At the top of Mount Impossible," Dylannesis explained coolly, pointing over to a mountain in the distance which climbed high past the clouds.  
  
"SON OF A BITCH!" complained Mulch. The rest of the party groaned.  
  
"We don't have to climb it, you fools! There's an escalator,"  
  
The escalator, however, was moving DOWN. The company groaned again.  
  
"It's hopeless!" said Mulch sadly.  
  
Just then, a voice rang out from above them.   
  
  
  
"WHO DARES INVADE THE REALM OF AIDAFO?" yelled the voice menacingly.  
  
Dylannesis looked around, seeing nothing. He sighs and shouts out to the mountain.  
  
"Aidafo, what are you? The fucking Wizard of Oz? Show yourself!"  
  
A man in a loose-fitting white shirt and old jeans along with a tattered cape appeared beside the party. No one said anything, confused with his appearance. The man looked impatient.   
  
"Well?" asked Aidafo, "what the HELL are you doing here?"  
  
"Aidafo, is that you?" asked Dylannesis in awe, quickly turning to disgust, "You look like shit."  
  
"Well I just woke up cause a bunch of wolf-pigeons and my retarded brother were yelling outside so I didn't really have time to get very ready." explained Aidafo, "but who else but the magnificent cartographer known as Aidafo (trumpets sound) would reside on the abominable peak of Mount Impossible? The very thought makes me want to blow chunks!"  
  
"Pleasant," commented Dylannesis.  
  
"Anyways," continued Aidafo, "to what displeasure do I owe this meeting?"  
  
"IM YOUR BROTHER!" screamed Dylannesis with impatience, "don't you remember me?" Aidafo was left in stunned silence.  
  
" ... Oh yeah," said Aidafo, "now I remember." He looked slightly surprised that he had forgotten so quickly. He quickly came to his senses, looking at the Gorgonaths.  
  
"And why the hell are these things here?" asked Aidafo.  
  
Dylannesis looks over at the party. "These are the Gorgonaths. This is Phillis, Mulch, and three other nameless Gorgonaths," he explains, motioning to the different Gorgonaths upon saying their names.  
  
Aidafo didn't look impressed. "Why should I be impressed by bird dogs?"   
  
"What did you say, worm?" snarled Phillis.  
  
Upon hearing this, Aidafo laughed and extended one hand. At first, nothing happened. Then, hundreds of pebbles lifted from the ground and pelted themselves at Phillis at high speeds.  
  
"HOLY HORSE FEATHERS!" yelled Phillis Just as the legion of pebbles were about to strike him and his Gorgonath comrades, Mattiemon cast a Aura of Protection over the ranks. The spell could only take so much, however, and the aura subsided, allowing the hundreds of pebbles to strike Phillis. Phillis howled in pain as the many pebbles ricocheted off his body.  
  
"Aidafo, stop your little games and let's talk business," said Dylannesis in a calm manner.  
  
"Mua ha ha ha!... ah ha ha... ah... I tire of this measly torture." said Aidafo. He lowered his hand, causing the pebbles to fall from the air and back to the ground from which they came.  
  
"Ok, now that you've stopped pelting my rag-tag band of minions," explained Dylannesis, "I can do what I came here to do."  
  
  
  
Aidafo looked at them and sighed, "Fine." He snapped his fingers, which emitted a large explosion-like sound. The troop was then on the top of the mountain, slightly dazed and very impressed.  
  
Aidafo smirked. "If you're impressed by that, wait 'till you see my house."  
  
The ground below them shook, bringing the troop down into the mountain. 


	5. Dylannesis: Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4  
  
  
  
"Now," Aidafo said, still descending into the mountain core , looking at Dylannesis, "why are you here?"  
  
"We need a map."  
  
"... And?" asked Aidafo.  
  
"Well... that's it." Dylannesis replied nervously.  
  
Aidafo laughed. "Most of the time, young folk seek me out to ask me to impart some of my psychic knowledge and abilities," continued Aidafo, "but you, oh, so insolent brother of mine, travelled long and hard to my lair with your company of bird brains (Phillis growled at this remark, but was too bruised to move) to acquire a simple map? This is an insult to my awesome power! Since you have made this journey, I will not allow you to part without learning some sort of psychic ability."  
  
"This isn't any simple map. It's the map to and of the fortress of Alexander The Not-So-Great (But Good Enough). We don't know the way." explained Dylannesis.  
  
Aidafo then began ranting incredibly sarcastically. "Oh for the fortress! Dear me, I don't know I if I would be able to do such a thing! I mean, it's such a huge task I don't know if- here you go." Aidafo quickly ended the rant and handed him the map that just appeared in his hand. "This should get you there and inside. I just mapped the place out the place in my mind while I was ranting ever so seriously."  
  
Aidafo looked at the company's confusion and sighed, "You wouldn't understand even if I told you. Anyways, on another subject, you seven will need a place to rest for the night I assume?" The party nodded. "Well then I suppose you can stay here for the night."  
  
The ground that was sinking beneath them suddenly stopped at one floor, a door opening to one side leading to a hallway lined with doors. "This floor is for the Gorgonaths..." Aidafo explained as he motioned to the four beautiful Gorgonath women standing in the hallway, looking at the others shyly.  
  
"Holy Horse Feathers!" exclaimed Phillis as he, Mulch, and the other three Gorgonath warriors stared in awe at the beautifully clad women standing before them.   
  
One of the nameless Gorgonaths spoke up. "I didn't even know female Gorgonaths existed!"  
  
"Shut up and appreciate them!" whispered Phillis angrily, "anyways, we had to come from somewhere!"  
  
"No we didn't. Mattiemon conjured us up remember?" responded the Gorgonath defiantly.  
  
Phillis stared at the Gorgonath soldier. "You have made me lose face in front of these ladies. For that ... you must DIE!"  
  
Phillis then pulled out his sword, quickly rushing at the wolf-pigeon. He wasn't quick enough. Aidafo snapped his fingers, causing the two to freeze in mid-air. The tow looked around curiously, wondering why they couldn't move.  
  
"No fighting in my mountain unless it's with me, dammit!" explained Aidafo. The four girls giggled at the two frozen warriors.  
  
Dylannesis, impressed with his brother's commanding talent and psychic abilities, thought that Aidafo would provide invaluable assistance to his cause as one of his generals.  
  
"Aidafo-" began Dylannesis, suddenly being cut off.  
  
"Sure I'll join you, but you'll need to provide my costume," said Aidafo.  
  
"The hell?" asked Dylannesis, thoroughly annoyed by his brother's surprises, "you can mind read too?"  
  
"It compliment with my psychic abilities," explained Aidafo.  
  
"You never cease to amaze, and annoy, the hell out of me," responded Dylannesis with awe.  
  
"Alright then, we'll all rest, and tomorrow ... we begin our journey!" said Aidafo triumphantly. The party cheered as Aidafo teleported to his room with a poof. The Gorgonaths then went into their rooms as well, and since Mattiemon and Dylannesis weren't issued a room, they slept on the floor. 


	6. Dylannesis: Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5  
  
Mattiemon awoke early in the morning, met with the eyes of two identical Aidafo clones, looking down at him blankly.  
  
"WHAT THE SHIT?!" screamed Mattiemon, luckily not waking up anyone (except for Dylannesis, of course) considering he kicked his faithful master in the face upon screaming .  
  
"Ow!" Dylannesis mumbled. The Aidafos continued to look down at them blankly. Mattiemon and the grumbling Dylannesis stared back, bewildered.  
  
"Stop looking them in the eyes!" Dylannesis explained quietly, "it might excite them to uncontrollable horror!"  
  
"I can't help it..." replied Mattiemon, "their eyes are just so... mesmerizing..."  
  
"Ah christ..." said Dylannesis. "well we've got to do something."  
  
The two Aidafos then disappeared in an electric poof of smoke. Another Aidafo then came down the lift, puzzled.  
  
"Why are you two up?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, hmm... lemme think... we saw your bloody clones!" yelled Mattiemon.  
  
Aidafo stared at the pair of shaken warriors, then began laughing. "Those weren't my clones, they were illusions!" He wipes a tear from his eye, "Oh, mercy. Anyways, I came down to give you the look of my costume. Really, it's just a cape." The two looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "I knew you'd suspect something... The cape is long and red, and it's called the C-47."   
  
Dylannesis shrugged. "So?"  
  
"Well, the thing is, it's made of woven titanium."  
  
The pair looked stunned, eyes open wide, "The hell?" asked the pair simultaneously.  
  
"I wear it to look cool, and defend against getting shot in the back", explained Aidafo.  
  
"Where the hell are you going to get titanium? And how are you going to weave it?? And turn it red???" questioned Mattiemon, each question rising with volume.  
  
Aidafo sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "You idiot! You wouldn't make it," said Aidafo with great annoyance, "you'd steal it!"  
  
The two laughed nervously. "Piece of cake," said Dylannesis, "Where'll we get this... C-47 as you call it."   
  
Aidafo sent them a mental image of a military research centre. "This base is around 50 miles east of here. If you're quick, you'll get there in five days flat, so get going." He smiled maliciously. "And if you don't, I'll destruct every cell in your brains."  
  
And so Dylannesis, Mattiemon and the Gorgonaths set off to the military base far to the south. They travelled night and day, only stopping for slots and women, err, food and rest. On the fifth day, just like Aidafo said, they arrived at the chain-linked gates of the military base. It was heavily guarded by monster clouds , monster snow, and even a little monster ground, all newly created by the sorcerers hired by Alexander The Not-So-great (But Good Enough). These elements would attack on sight and devour all in their path.   
  
"Now what do we do?" asked Mattiemon in a stupor.   
  
"Well," said Dylannesis, "the answer is quite simple, isn't it?"   
  
An awkward silence followed.   
  
"No, not really," the party responded.   
  
"Oh for Christ's sake, we have to get drunk! Then they wont see us. Pretty basic wizarding rule there..."   
  
The party stares at Dylannesis, stunned in his brilliance.   
  
"Of course! Why didn't I think of- that's the dumbest thing you've ever said!" Mattiemon fumes. He then goes off from the party to concoct a plan.  
  
"I didn't think it was a stupid idea..." muttered Phillis.   
  
"You're right, my good man! It isn't a stupid idea because I know it works. Watch..."  
  
And so Dylannesis began to drink, and drink, and drink, until he is finally drunk. He then approaches the base and steps right up to one of the monster clouds, though it has no reaction.  
  
"Un-friggin'-believable..." says Mattiemon, amazed and longingly staring at Dylannesis blatantly doing an Irish jig in front of the monster cloud.  
  
"How could he possibly accomplish such an awesome feat so easily?" a few of the Gorgonaths questioned with a puzzled expression on their faces.  
  
"Wait just a minute!" Mattiemon exclaimed in triumph. "I just might understand how he did it! Listen up, everybody!"  
  
The troupe turned to face him expectantly.  
  
"Let me see that bottle, Dylannesis," Mattiemon said.  
  
"YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING! MOMMY, I WANT CHOCOLATE!" Dylannesis cried in a drunken demeanour, too unfocused to even move at the moment.  
  
"Fair enough," Mattiemon hesitantly replied, shuffling over to Dylannesis and prying the bottle from his warm, wine-drenched fingers. "Just as I suspected," Mattiemon explained, "This wine contains a rare chemical solution known as G.I.N., that stands for Genetic Invisibility Nutrient. Whoever drinks it instantaneously becomes undetectable to any creature fashioned as a result of magic or technology. In this case, it is a combination of both -- the magical, elemental component of the monster cloud is fused with various high-tech features that allows it to detect any heat or movement in the immediate surrounding area.   
  
"The problem is," Mattiemon continued," is that Dylannesis drank all of the friggin' wine! We'll have to find a substitute to the wine from which we can derive enough G.I.N. for everyone to pass undetected."  
  
"Top of the mornin,' to ye!" Dylannesis suddenly added from nowhere.  
  
"Ummm... What're we going to do about him?" Asked one of the Gorgonaths. "He's shit drunk!"  
  
"No, you're shit!" Dylannesis takes a swing at him, and falls flat on his face.  
  
Mattiemon waves his wand a bit and Dylannesis becomes suspended in the air, like a puppet. "We'll just have to move him around like this." He moves his fingers around, making Dylannesis dance loose jointedly. "Hee hee..."  
  
"Q-Quit it you stupid mole dingo!" Dylannesis keeps dancing helplessly under the power of Mattiemon, when a sudden CRACK sounds through the air, showing a pissed off Aidafo.  
  
"What in the hell are you doing?! I want my cape!" Then he disappears as fast as he appeared.  
  
Mattiemon blinks, then grumbles resignedly and drops Dylannesis to the ground. "Damn psychic mumbo jumbo hoogadie ha!"  
  
"What the hell did you just call me?" grumbled Dylannesis as he lies face first in a puddle of his own face.  
  
"I said-" cuts off Phillis as he smacks him in the head with a blunt object. Dylannesis then lays unconscious on the ground, muttering sweet nothings to himself.  
  
"Alright, now we have to find a way to get into the base undetected..."  
  
Phillis then stood up, stunned with his own brilliance. "I know!"  
  
The troupe began sneaking into the base, concealed behind the wooden bush they had created (considering they figured "How smart could a cloud possibly be?") They snuck with the utmost caution, the various types of monsters unaware of their presence. They get through the chain-linked front gates and make their way towards the door, which they find to be made of solid titanium.  
  
"Now what?" whispered one of the un-named Gorgonaths.  
  
"Well we're going to need a huge spell to break down this thi-"said Mattiemon, cut off by Phillis.  
  
"It's unlocked. In fact, it doesn't even have a lock, it's propped up with a piece of wood..."  
  
"Fan-bloody-tastic," Mattiemon declared sarcastically. "Well, in that case, we'd best be moving on. You know, I'm surprised at how far we've gotten without too much difficulty, I suppose..."  
  
"Stop talking, dumb ass!!!" screamed Phillis in frustration. "You just might've jinxed us! Something bad always happens when somebody says everything is fine. Just in case, I'd better knock on wood."  
  
Seeing that there was little wood in the area, Phillis looked at the titanium door with the wooden plank propping it up with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Here goes nothing," he sighed deeply, and knocked on the wooden plank. This caused the door to slowly begin falling in Phillis' direction. He stared up at it in horror and jumped out of the way just in time, narrowly evading being crushed. When the dust cleared, everyone held their breath in astonishment. About 10 feet into the chamber, the titanium cape of legendary proportions lay strewn on a wooden table, with a single window permitting a thin beam of light to shine on it.   
  
"Funky," everybody nodded slowly, gazing at the cape.  
  
Slowly but surely, the ground beneath them began to rumble, as if a storm were brewing beneath them. Without warning, the soil that Phillis was standing on erupted beneath his feet, knocking him backwards into Mattiemon.  
  
"Holy shit..." muttered Mattiemon, as a huge, hulking creature with sharp claws and powerful wings emerged from the ground.  
  
"It's a chicken!" somebody in the back cried. "The mother of all chickens!" 


	7. Chapter 6 unfinished

CHAPTER 6  
  
"Buahahahahahahahaha!" clucked the monstrous chicken as it prepared to stomp on the intruders. But then the weight of the chicken shifted, causing it to stumble and break through the wall, still not alerting the monstrous beings patrolling the area.  
  
"Wow, they're pretty slow aren't they?" said Phillis.  
  
"Oh no, you fool!" yelled Mattiemon, "They respond to insults!"  
  
Just then, all the monstrous beings that had taken no notice of the blundering intruders, became alert and began chasing after the troupe. One of the un-named Gorgonaths then grabbed the cape and bolted from the building, leaping over the chicken and running out of the vicinity faster than anyone thought possible.  
  
"Wow.. look at him go..." said Phillis in awe, his attention then returning to his impending doom, "OH SHIT!"  
  
The rest of the party then ran from the building as well, the clouds, snow and ground approaching them at an alarming rate.  
  
"Of all the possible circumstances, this one would be the best to summon Aidafo to help divert the monster creatures and allow us to escape from certain death," Mattiemon suggested breathlessly as he ran, panicked and tripping over stalagmites that popped up from the ground beneath him.   
  
  
  
"Did you say something?" Dylannesis began to come to, the side-effects of the alcohol and the infliction made on his head with the blunt object beginning to wear off.  
  
"Oh never mind!" Mattiemon yelled impatiently. "I guess I'll have to take matters into my own hands." His pace lessened, and eventually he stopped to face the oncoming monster horde. Summoning all the courage he could muster and manifesting his powers as a glowing sphere of energy, he stood his ground and lifted his hands into the air. Phillis, turning to watch, ordered the other Gorgonaths to cease retreating. Launching the sphere high into the sky, Mattiemon chanted a message for reinforcements (namely Aidafo) in an ancient language that could be heard for miles around. The energy sphere exploded in a blinding display of light and sound.  
  
Some distance away, Aidafo was spending the afternoon having a pleasant yet meaningless tea party with a few of his clones. Suddenly, the peace was disturbed by a huge energy sphere erupting in the direction of the army base.  
  
"Oh, for Christ's sakes, they're calling for reinforcements," Aidafo sighed in disapproval. "Do they mean to say they can't even handle a few pathetic, sub-magic monster apparitions? Honestly." He turned to his clones. "We'll have to continue this another time." He snapped his fingers and appeared on the battlefield between the monster creatures and Dylannesis' troupe a few moments later.  
  
"Alright what the hell do you want? You just interrupted a very important, er, meeting I was in." asked Aidafo, his tolerance growing slim.  
  
"Take care of the monsters!" Mattiemon shrieked in peril. He then ran for the hills as fast as his cowardly legs could take him.  
  
Aidafo looks towards the monsters, stopped in sheer stupidity since a man just appeared in front of them and their small brains can't understand why. They then realise the reason they were there in the first place and began running (how can elements run?) once more. Aidafo then lifts one hand, causing all the monsters to lift into the air (the clouds just lifting higher since they were floating). He then ran them together into a tight ball and launched them into the stratosphere, never to be seen again. Aidafo then floated over to the cowardly party in a blinding rage.  
  
"YOU INTERRUPTED MY TEA-, er, MEETING TO TAKE CARE OF SOME TWO BIT MONSTER GOONS?! ARE YOU MAD?" screamed Aidafo.  
  
"We're not mad, but it seems like you are," responded Dylannesis calmly, still not completely recovered from the alcohol.  
  
"Bad... answer..." whispered Mattiemon to Dylannesis as Aidafo began advancing on them with a crazed look in his eye.  
  
"Wait!" yelled Phillis, causing the rest of the party to look at him, "Look, we can either fight about some stupid mistake, or we can go and invade the fortress of Alexander The Not-So-Great (But Good Enough)!"  
  
"Actually, I think the argument sounds better than the whole invasion thing." responded an un-named Gorgonath, "I mean, we don't even have an army."  
  
Aidafo, calmed by the sudden breach in his blind rage, sits down on the ground, looking towards the many party members. He then sits for a long while, pondering over what must be done.  
  
"Well," started Aidafo, "First we have to get back to my mountain so that no one accuses us of making this mess." He motions to the broken wall of the fortress and the mighty dead chicken.  
  
"Good idea," agreed the party.  
  
The party made the long trek back to Aidafo's mountain fortress and by nightfall, they were resting tiredly but contentedly in comfortable couches in Aidafo's war strategy room. Everyone was quietly sipping their coffee when Aidafo, who had donned his new C-47 titanium cloak, entered the room. The troupe turned and gazed at him in silent awe.  
  
"Alright, let's get cracking," Aidafo snapped impatiently and summoned a chair behind him. "I've commenced to draft a master strategy with which we can attempt to steal Alexander the Not-So-Great (But Good Enough)'s hordes from him to build the metal pyramids."  
  
"You have our full attention," Dylannesis leaned forward, immensely interested.  
  
"I, personally, have always been a fan of politics," Aidafo began.   
  
The rest of the party exchanged confused glances, not sure where he was going with this bold statement.   
  
"Surprisingly, I prefer to use my intellect over brawn to solve issues," he said.  
  
"That is surprising," Phillis muttered to himself.  
  
"Shut up or I'll slice you in two with a bread knife," Aidafo retorted hotly. "Anyway, I'm of the opinion that Dylannesis should convince the people he wants as labourers for his metal pyramids that he is a better leader through a cleverly-organized political campaign and effective advertising, as opposed to trying to get them to defect by means of a mediocre corruption potion."  
  
Mattiemon was offended but decided to remain silent, seeing as he wanted to have his tongue in the morning. Dylannesis decided to speak up for him.   
  
"Isn't there some way we can incorporate Mattiemon's potion into our scheme, though?" Dylannesis offered.  
  
Aidafo thought for a quick moment.   
  
TO BE CONTINUED!!! 


End file.
